Monday, June 1, 2009

being a child of divorce and all that shit, naturally i'm a little skeptical of marriage. i see how my parents lives unfolded with marriages early on in life that didnt work out, then they found eachother, had me, divorced and found people later on that they fell in love with and remained with for the past almost 10 years.

As a little girl, the idea of one prince charming is drilled into your head as the 'norm', thus comes the confusion and disappointment when your very own parents cant work out their marriage. My main issue with that was the thought of "oh my god. i dont want to be different. i dont want anyone feeling sorry for me. this isnt normal". when infact, i look back on it all and think it was a huge blessing in disguise. in life, i don't think you're supposed to have just one love. perhaps a series of two or three, that teach you something and represent chunks or chapters in your life. my mindset may change or suprise me because of how i've been conditioned to think due to the examples in my life. i've seen first hand that marriage may not work out, and that sucks but the biggest lesson i learned was that it CAN wind up okay.

with all of that said, i still think i'm a romantic girl at heart. though traditional marriage may make me nervous, weddings and being a bride is still something i would love to have in my life one day, whatever form that may come in. weddings are so fun. i've stumbled upon a couple wedding blogs which just show adorable photos of people who are in love and have creative ideas. doesnt hurt to look, right? i find myself wanting to be a pessimistic cold hearted bitch, saying "oh come on. stop trying so hard to be cool and just get married and fuck off". but my warm hearted happy girly side is just oozing the word "aaaawwww" out of my every pore. to be continued.....(in 5-10 years)

photos: i found one of the most beautiful wedding dress websites, and these were my three favorite dresses. they are perfect!