Sunday, November 15, 2009


Sometimes I get jealous of people who are so head-over-hells in love with religion, jesus, god, spirituality, etc. Only sometimes, though. 

I mean this because I feel like they are always so quick to say that god has this plan and that everything is okay/will be okay. It's almost like they are at complete peace with so many things because they trust that this Lord guy really gives a shit. Maybe he does, maybe he doesnt. Maybe SHE does, maybe SHE doesnt. I don't and never will believe in taking the Bible word for word and believing that one guy thousands of years ago had all the answers and no one else has had those answers (or different ones) since. That's so close minded and I will never understand that. I was ten years old when I decided none of it made sense and I've had that same belief since that very day. The Bible in many cases can be read and looked at as a book of stories that inspire humans to do good. But let's not forget there is a lot in that book that isnt all happy roses & glitter butterflies. There's a lot of dark shit that offends a lot of people in this day and age. What about all that? 

My point is..I think the price I and so many people who have the same beliefs I do, pay is the fact that we don't have all of our trust and faith in this one solid idea. Being open to everything and exploring things is a beautiful thing with only ONE drawback which means you're not sure of anything. I don't go to sleep thinking "Jesus will take care of me!" because, you know what, it's not what I believe. 

So now what? I'll do my best to take care of me, and so will the people that I know and love. And I'll take care of them also. And sometimes it will suck and sometimes it won't. I just get a tiny jealous of those happy glossy eyed Jesus lovers who float through life thinking that everything is taken care of by their 'master'. I don't have a master. So my brain is fucked, huh? Bring on the stress!